Big Damn Heroes

Kicker - Tap a creature you control. You may pay this kicker cost up to four times.
Target creature gains absorb 2 until end of turn. If this spell was kicked once, regenerate target creature. If this spell was kicked twice, ignore effects that would prevent regeneration. If this spell was kicked three times, the next time target creature would be sacrificed this turn, tap it instead. If this spell was kicked four times, target creature cannot leave the battlefield for any reason this turn.