Andrew the Ineffectual

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 2/2 Union Soldier token with vigilance and protection from vampires. If
you do, your opponent may create a 3/1
white Dissident creature token with deathtouch.
"I may not be the best to ever serve but... uh,
yeah. That's it."—Levi Scoot, presidential impersonator