Richard Nixon

Trample, Lifelink, If you dont own Nixon, she
becomes a turkey, and cannot attack or block.
Shes Fat: At the beginning of your upkeep, if
Nixon is a cat, roll a d20, put her physical avatar
onto the battlefield for X amount of seconds
equal to what you roll.
Hair Tie Destroyer{2}: At the beginning of your
next upkeep, if you did not pay {2}, sacrifice
Nixon, you become a terrible person.