Alexander, Noob Of Potential

When this card enters the battlefield, you can create your own banlist for this game, any player breaking this list either watches baby shark for 10 hours, or is banned from MTG for any number of years equal to their life total.
Noob's Attempt (This Creature enters the battlefield with +10000/+10000 Counters equal to whatever place you took in the last tournament you entered x9999. If you can't, you lose)