Basilisk Collar

Equipped creature has deathtouch and lifelink. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy it. Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Demetri’s idea of a quiet day? Knocking over the trash can, stealing a sock, and then acting like he’s done nothing wrong.