Brad, No Pitt

Mad Libs - When Brad, No Pitt enters the battlefield, target opponent chooses one:
12 Monkeys, Inglorious Basterds, or Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
If:
•12 Monkeys: Brad, No Pitt gains trample, indestructible, & must attack each turn if able.
•Inglorious Basterds: Brad, No Pitt gains +3/+3 until end of turn & fights target creature you don't control.
•Mr. & Mrs. Smith: Brad, No Pitt gains: 3{g}: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.