Caleb of the Northern Sea

+1: Find a fish in your deck log it in your notebook, then then go back to the bunkhouse and jerk off to the sound of your roommate snoring.
-3: Opponent shows you their hand but you're so ADHD you'll forget so it doesn't even matter.
-8: Begin the chant, " shekkem on my chazzem doggin". If your opponents name is Chaz they have to leave the game for 5 minutes in annoyance.