Chad, the Absolute

+2: Roll a d20 for bench. If you roll an odd, Remove two loyalty counters from Chad, the Absolute. If even, put two loyalty counters on him instead.
-3: Until end of turn, Chad, the Absolute becomes a 0/1 Chad with indestructible, hexproof, AND shroud, and gains "Tap this Chad: untap this Chad."
-12: Create a colorless "Get Out of Jail Free Card" artifact token with indestructible. Then exile Chad, the Absolute.