Chris Chan, Rageful Virgin

Love Quest—Whenever you cast one or more
female creature spells, put a +1/+0 counter on
Chris Chan, Rageful Virgin until end of turn.
Vengeful Fantasy—{5}: Search your library for a
card named Chris Chan, Fictitious Hero, reveal
it, put it in your hand, then shuffle.
If I ever-if I see a dick, I just look away, with a
moment of being freaked out!"