Chris, Lord of the Rock

+2: Change the song that's playing to any hard rock song. The music deals 1 damage to each of 3 different targets.
-3: Attempt to explain banding to Quinn. Give up and destroy target creature he controls.
-7: Destroy all non-land, non-planeswalker permanents. You get an emblem with "Pay 1 life, draw 2 cards"