Command the Breadhorde

Choose any number of baked goods from outside the game. Command the Breadhorde deals damage to you equal to the 3 times the number of baked goods chosen. Put those baked goods onto the battlefield under your control. (Baked goods have base power and toughness equal to 1 plus the number of baked goods you've eaten this game.) They gain "{2},{t}, Eat this baked good: Gain 3 life"