CthUwU, Ewdwitch Howwow

Infinite (this creature is all colors).
Fwying, Twample, Indestwuctable (all of these abilities are identical to their normally pronounced counterparts).
{p/c}{p/u}{p/w}: Counter target non-creature spell.
{p/b}{p/g}{p/r}{t}: Creatures you control gain Haste, Deathtouch, and Reach until end of turn.