Curse of the Estimator

Enchant yourself
Permanents entering the battlefield under your
control do not cause abilities to trigger.
If enchanted player has worked overtime on the
Wednesday of this week, that players life total
becomes 1. Then enchanted player draws cards
equal to the number of cards in their library and
puts all permanents from their hand onto the
battlefield. Then the player with the most life
deals 1 damage to enchanted player.