Darion Kreeger, Highlord

+1: Smile reassuringly at target opponent, then deal 5 damage to that opponent. Draw a card for every opponent you've betrayed this way.
-3: Put a 5/3 Legendary Bat token with haste, flying,and lifelink named "Bat Out of Hell" onto the battlefield. Sacrifice it on your next upkeep.
-7: Put fifty 1/1 Goblin tokens with haste onto the battlefield. At your next end step yell "Aw man, I'm going to the store!" and concede.