Devon, Lost and Scared

+2: Create a colorless artifact Lost token with, "Sacrifice this token, and draw a card. Each opponent who can't bring you a snack discards a card."
0: Each opponent with more life than you either discards card equal to the life difference, or discards one and give you a very nice compliment.
-10: You gain an emblem with, "During each opponent's upkeep, they must sing the chorus of Africa by Toto, and you draw 3 cards."