DnD Spell Info Sheet

If you actually take the time to read every single word in the flavour text and art, you punch each opponent and win the game.
{t}: Target opponent reads the flavour text below.
Hi, I'm Jeff, here to waste your time. So you
know how chickens will have a chance to survive after their head gets chop-HEY EVERYBODY!! I'M JHONNY, WOMBO COMBO PLAYER AND-bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt. Ah, dear god Jhonny, you're a bad card anyways. Where was I up to? Ah yes- OH DEAR G