Dr. Richard A. Crosby

{p/r}, {t}: Put a bourbon counter on Dr. Richard
A. Crosby.
{p/b}, {t}: Counter target argument.
{p/w}, {t}: Put X 1/1 white Corgi creature tokens
onto the battlefield, where X is the number of
bourbon counters on Dr. Richard A. Crosby.
{p/r}{p/b}{p/w}, {t}: Destroy target Lichtenberg.
"When life gives you lemons, grab life by the
throat and squeeze them in its eyes!"