Dwight K. Shrute, A.T.T.R.M.

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one at
random.
•Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with
"{2}, {t}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")
•Create a 2/2 black Bear creature token.
•Target opponent creates a 0/1 black Cylon
creature token with "At the beginning of your
upkeep pay {1} or sacrifice a non-Cylon creature."
"Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica." -Jim Halpert
as Dwight K. Shrute