Evan Bray, Butt of the Joke

Protection from Thomas's insults.
Whenever Evan Bray enters the battlefield, create
a " Control Deck" artifact token with "{w}{u}{b}{t}: Make target player concede because of your dragging the game out."
{u}{t}: Complete Microsoft Office Specialist tests
and flex on everyone about it.
{b}{t}: Target opponent can't have fun this game.
{w}{t}: Tell Thomas something that could be taken
the wrong way and thus take 5 damage.