Funny Valentine, Patriot

Funny Valentine, Patriot cannot be removed from
the battlefield.
(Cannot be bounced, killed, exiled, or sacrificed.)
Funny Valentine, Patriot cannot be swayed.
(Cannot be given keywords, counters, enchanted,
equipped or targeted by your abilities.)
If Funny Valentine deals combat damage to a
player, you win the game.
Power! Glory! Happiness! Culture! Law! Money! Food!
The hearts of the people! I have taken the first napkin!
- Funny Valentine, True Patriot