Gary the Stormtrooper

Take your daughter to work day—Whenever Gary
the Stormtrooper enters the battlefield or attacks,
create a 1/1 white Jessica creature token with haste
and "This creature can't block.".
Whenever a creature token you control dies, put a
+1/+1 counter on Gary.
"Oh! Lord Vader! Uh... it's "Take Your Daughter
to Work Day", and I know, uh... you know, I'm
sorry for bringing her, but my wife says I never see
her, and... let's be honest, she's right!" -Gary