Grouse, Fully Certified

Haste
{x}{t}: Choose target instant or sorcery in your graveyard with converted mana cost X. Roll a
six-sided die until you roll a one or two. If the
first number rolled is a one, sacrifice Grouse and
each player loses 7 life. Otherwise, for each time
you rolled, copy the chosen card (you may choose
new targets for the copies) and take 1 damage.
"Is he really certified? We're not sure."