Hardisian

Hardison enters the battlefield with X+Y energy counters
where Y equals the number of artifacts on the battlefield and phones
in the room or area, also put the "what this card
does extended enchantment"
Defender, Hexproof
at the begining of your upkeep and end step if you control a
hacker, thief, grifter, drunk mastermind, and hitter you win the game.