Hotel Zeppelin Cafe Fortress

Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, HZCF
becomes a 4/4 artifact creature .
Whenever a spell or ability causes you to draw a
card, HZCF becomes a 2/3 artifact creature with
flying.
Whenever a creature you control is the target of
a spell you control, HZCF becomes a 2/2 artifact
creature that is unblock-able.
Good for long vacations and the occasional war.