Jack Iamacunt Flem

Whenever a creature card enters the battlefield, Jack Iamacunt Flem sexually assaults them, dealing 1 damage to that creature's owner. Each turn you must put a beer counter on Jack Iamacunt Flem, or he is sacrificed.
{b}{x} Lover of Black Struggle—Jack Iamacunt Flem begins to explain his love of black women due to the "struggle" and "oppression" they once experienced
Jack has an alcohol problem-After taking off his pants too many times, Jack gets put on probation. When Jack has 5+ beer cou