Jack Iamacunt Flem

Whenever a male or female creature card enters the battlefield, Jack Iamacunt Flem sexually assaults them, dealing one damage to that creature's owner. Whenever Jack Iamacunt Flem gets a beer counter, Jack Iamacunt Flem gains +1/-1 until the end of turn. Each turn you must put a beer counter on Jack Iamacunt Flem, or he is sacrificed.
{b}{b}{b}{b}{x} Lover of Black Struggle—Jack Iamacunt Flem begins to explain his love of black women due to the "struggle" and "oppression" they once experience