Jammer Rig

Creatures lose all activated abilities during their controller’s turn.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player taps one untapped creature they control.
If they can’t, they lose 2 life.
"You think you’ve seen the puppet strings?
Good. Now follow them. Trace them to the
hand, to the mind, to the purpose. Maybe
then, you’ll understand what we’re giving you."