Jesus Fricking Christ

Indestructible
Walking On Water — At the beginning of combat on each turn, lands you control become 2/2 creatures with vigilance and indestructible until end of turn. They're still lands.
Divine Sacrifice — Sacrifice this creature: prevent all damage that would be dealt to creatures this turn. They gain hexproof and indestructible.
Second Coming — When Jesus Fricking Christ dies, return it to the battlefield tapped at the beginning of the next upkeep under its owner