Joel, I have kids.

When "Joel, I have kids." enters the battlefield, place 10 "excuse" tokens on the
card for every child the player has in real life.
As an instant, and "excuse" token can be
used to get out of any phase of the game, including full or multiple turns. When the player is in "excuse" mode, they cannot cast spells, do not take damage, and can't lose the
game. However, they CAN win the game.