Jon, The Closer

Get Cucked On — Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may pay {u}{u}. When you do, counter that spell unless its controller taps two untapped permanents they control. If they can't, exile that spell instead.

{3},{t}: Draw a card. You may put a permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield if it has mana value less than
or equal to the number of tapped nonland permanents you don't control.

"My favorite thing about people is that people are idiots."