Kalsow the Historian

At the beginning of the turn, Mr. Kalsow attempts to teach a lesson involving math. Choose a number and roll a six-sided die:
1-3: Mr. Kalsow miscalculates badly. You lose life equal to the number chosen because “taxes” didn’t add up.
4-6: The math is wrong but harmless. Nothing happens because he mutters something like, “Anyway, moving on.”

"Who let the dogs out? Me."