Keanu, Knows Kung Fu

Keanu is Indestructable.
Death Touch, Lifelink, Haste, Trample, Double Strike, Protection from All Sources.
When Keanu comes into play, he deals 5 damage
to every other creature, player, and planeswalker
in play.
"Cool it Roach, You know who this is? This
is Johnny Utah! Ohio State Buckeyes, all conference!
Remember?" -Bodhisattva