Kenneth, Nipple Fiend

Flash
{r}{w}: Destroy target creature, create food tokens
equal to destroyed creature's number of nipples
{3}{w}: Target artifact becomes a nipple clamp in addition to its other types and gains equip cost{1}
If equipped, Kenneth gains +3/+3 and
Double Strike
Sacrifice Kenneth: Destroy any number of target artifacts
"Nipple clamps aren't bad ngl."