Lafayette, Bag o'Magic Beans

Absorb 5, Menace.
{x}{w}{t}: The next X damage that would be dealt
to target creature, you control, this turn, is dealt
to Lafayette instead.
If Lafayette would be destroyed, instead remove
all damage, tap him, and put 3 Regeneration
Counters on him. At the beginning of your
upkeep remove a Regeneration Counter. As long
as Lafayette has a Regeneration Counter on him,
He is a 0/1 black Ooze with Deathtouch,
Defender, Hexproof, and Indestructible.