Laszlo Cravensworth

Lifelink
Whenever you gain 1 or more life, put a
+1/+1 counter on Laszlo.
When Laszlo dies, create X 1/1 Bat creature
tokens with flying, where X is Laszlo's power.
"You'll have to re-cover that chaise lounge
because I'll ejaculate straight through that."