Lauren, Calvary's Thunder

Flash, Haste, Vigilance
When Lauren, Calvary's Thunder enter's the battlefield, deal {x} damage divided among {x} number of creatures, where {x}is the number
of Humans you control. If it is your turn when
Lauren, Calvary's Thunder enters play, creatures
damaged this way can't block this turn.
"Don't mind me...you boys just
keep fighting amongst yourselves"