Leslie

{t} Pay {b}{b}{r}{r}: Leslie produces a strawberry beverage out of nowhere. He drinks it.
{t} Pay {c}{c}: Leslie pulls off an Arkham Horror
combo. Unfortunately, that is the wrong game.
{t} Pay {w}{b}: Leslie calculates the statistically
optimal path to your victory.
Add +1/+1 to all of your creatures.
(if you know R)
"No, I told you, I'm the big spoon."