Let's play Yu-Gi-Oh! instead

Each player's life total, as well as each creature's power and toughness are multiplied by 400.
Creatures can no longer attack or block and gain "{t}: If target opponent controlls no creatures, this creature deals damage to them equal to its power. Otherwise, it fights target creature they controll. Activate only during your combat phase. Untap it during your next end step.".
Players may only cast one creature spell per turn unless its mana value is 5 or greater but they must sacrifice another creature