Lovefool

Does absolutely nothing unless Steven is on
the battlefield, in which case all its controller's creatures get +1/+1.
"Love me, love me, say that you love me,
fool me, fool me, go on and fool me,
love me, love me, pretend that you love me,
leave me, leave me, just say that you need me,
I can't care about anything but you..."
—The Cardigans