Moheet Suthar

I Like Men - {t} {b} - Moheet LOVES men and as of such when tapped you may yell, "I like men!" if you do this Moheet will gain a +1/+1 counter for every creature on the battlefield. Activate only as a sorcery.
Erm Actually - Activate only on opponents turns. You may yell, "Erm actually" in response to anything an opponent says once per their turn, if you do all of that opponents creatures attack Moheet's controller.
"I didn't agree to this!" - Moheet Suthar