Mr. Backwards

When Mr. Backwards enters the battlefield, return 3 cards you control to your hand.
Whenever you would deal damage to an opponent, you may instead choose to gain that much life instead
Whenever you would destroy a creature, you may instead choose to put as many +1/+1 counters as its converted mana cost on target creature instead
If Backwards is destroyed, you lose 3 life

"He's a monster who tells you all the facts"