Mr. CreepyPasta

Hexproof
As long as your devotion to blue and black is less
than seven, Mr. CreepyPasta isn't a creature.
Whenever another creature you own dies, return
it to your hand unless target opponent pays 3 life.
Whenever another creature you don't own dies,
exile it unless target opponent pays 3 life.
Gods are concepts, beings that represent something.
Even the most absurd concepts have gods.