Mr. Schepens, the Legend

+1: Create a 2/2 Ben creature token. print("5 seconds late, that's a zero.")
0: Target player's life total becomes 10. If that player was a student, create a workflow that accurately predicts his/her failures in the future.
-8: Each opponent sacrifices 3 creatures, 3 lands, 3 hopes/dreams, and 3 grades in his/her gradebook.