'Nana Phallus

Whenever 'Nana Phallus attacks, put a
dehydration counter on target creature. You may intoxicate another target attacking creature.
(For each dehydration counter on a creature, that
creature doesn't untap unless its controller pays {1}, and its activated abilities cost {1} more to activate. Target creature gets +X/+Y, where X is half its power
and Y is half its toughness, rounded down, and gains
either Trample, Double Strike, or Lifelink, chosen at random, until end of turn. Exert it.)