Newman, the Nemesis

As long as your devotion to food is less than five,
Newman is not a creature. (Your devotion to
food is equal to the number of food tokens you
control when you cast this spell).
At the beginning of your end step, if Newman
is a creature, gain control of target artifact.
"All right! But hear me and hear me well. The
day will come - oh yes - mark my words,
Seinfeld...."