Paradox of Oppertunity

When this creature is turns face up, it gains haste unless an opponent controls a red creature, then
it gains flying unless an opponent controls a blue creature, then it gains vigilance unless an opponent controls a white creature, then it gains death touch unless an opponent controls a black creature, then
it gains hex proof unless an opponent controls a
green creature, then it gains injust 2 unless an opponent controls a colorless creature, then it gains defender unless an opponent controls no creatu