Precious & JJ

+1: Tell a dad joke. Precious & JJ deals 3 damage to target player.
-2: Make an oddly specific 90s reference. Creatures you control get +2/+2 and trample until end of turn.
-7: Make a sarcastic remark to someone you love... then hug them. Deal 7 damage to target creature, draw 7 cards and gain 7 life.