Revacholian Nationhood

Humans get +2/+1 and first strike.

Non-Humans get -1/-1.

Whenever you draw a card, create a 1/1 white Human creature token.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control a non-Human creature, draw a card and sacrifice Revacholian Nationhood.

You'll pour your beer into their begging hats and laugh.