Saitama

Indestructible. Shroud. Reach. Irremovable.
Power/toughness is irreducibly the age of the
universe in years. 2nd time Saitama damages
a creature kills it unconditionally. Saitama
exiles humans when dealing combat damage.
Saitama has double strike against creatures
who have more than 20 words in their text.
Enough, You idiot! Shorten it to 20 words or less!
—Sensei