Saitama

Indestructible. Shroud. Reach. Irremovable.
Power/toughness is irreducibly the age of the
universe in years. 2nd time Saitama damages
a creature kills it unconditionally. Saitama
exiles humans when dealing combat damage
to them. Saitama has double strike against
creatures who have more than 20 words in
their text.
Enough, You idiot! Shorten it to 20 words or less!
—Sensei